Need help to get started to buy a house ~30-45 mins from Manhattan

I have never bought a property in the US and am at a loss for where to start.

Starting point:

  1. I work in Manhattan and do not plan to change it for the next 5 years.
  2. I have a preapproval letter from a financing company.
  3. I would love to spend around $8,000-$9,000 a month including mortgage, insurance, and all payments on a house.
  4. I have never lived in the suburbs, only in apartments, so I don’t know if a house with a big property is good for me. Privacy is important to me.
  5. I would love to spend up to 45 minutes commuting to Manhattan, 2-3 times a week.
  6. I am an immigrant and don’t know any areas around Manhattan.

What would be my ideal home:

  1. House with property in a suburban green area, 3-4 bedrooms.
  2. Safe and good schools (should I consider schools now since my oldest is 14 months old?).
  3. 30-45 mins commute to the city.

I could not make any decision for the past 2 years, but living in a city is not an option anymore. I need space for my sanity and for my kids.

Any guidance or advice would be greatly appreciated. Where do I start? How do I approach my search? How do I look for agents? And what are the best areas?

Well, start with what state do you want to live in? NJ, CT, NY (Westchester or Long Island)?

Long Island, NJ—that’s what I thought.

Try Hudson, Bergen, and Essex counties in NJ. Hudson is the closest. All three have plenty of public transportation right into Midtown.

I wouldn’t do Hudson with kids—focus on Essex County for better schools.

Finding what you want with a max 45-minute commute is going to be difficult. You should assess the real commute time with your desire for space and green.

NY area is one of the most expensive real estate markets. Most neighborhoods surrounding Manhattan under 45 minutes will be above your price point.

Use Zillow or some real estate search tool. Find areas within that commutable distance and search for homes that meet your criteria.

Consider Stamford, CT, or in New York: New Rochelle, Harrison, Larchmont, Rye, or Mamaroneck for good schools and homes in your price range.